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AeolusHarp
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Birthday: 12/23/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: I'm completely obssessed with Napoleon, Lord Byron, and Oscar Wilde. In fact, I'm quite certain that I lived in the 19th century... or perhaps I was a dictator... Anyway :) I listen to the demigods Billy Joel and Frank Sinatra, but I'm also fond of Liszt, Dylan, and Motown music. Beware!! I love tea, my thesaurus, and bits of ribbon as well.
Expertise: Err... Eating Sweettarts and Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate, Napoleon, the American Revolution, Harry Potter, rowing and being a klutz. I'm the Queen of people suffering from taphephobia - bow down to my fearful power.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/18/2004
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| New Xanga.
Bye you old worthless piece of crap.
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| Ok, I never update, yet people still subscribe to me. How cool is that?
I will make a new xanga eventually, one that I will update and cherish
for ever and ever (AKA: Christmas break). Until then, don't miss me too
much.
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| I love cartoons. I really really do.
You know you're a geek when -- you can't watch the history channel today because you've seen all the episodes before. Huzzah.
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| God, it's been forever since I updated this thing. I've been updating my LJ for so long that I neglect this journal.
This is rather pointless, as there's not much to report on this summer.
I still can't believe I'm going to go to college next year, though.
That's going to be a tough one to accept.
I've finally had the chance to watch the A&E Hornblower series
everyone's been pushing for me to see. I've read the first two books
and I must say that the movies are more similar than I imagined they
would be. Then there's Archie Kennedy--heck, I'd join the 19 century
British navy to get some of that prize.
Greek food sounds really good right now. Greek or Italian.
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| Mom and I just finished watching the Passion. Now, I'm not going to go into a movie
critique, because that's not my purpose. I will say that Jim is a wonderful actor and the
languages were absolutely beautiful. That is all.
I did not cry as much as I thought I would. In fact, I think only three or four tears
managed to fall. I think it was because I was too astounded to be sad and too bewildered
to care. God knows how many people have been tortured and/or murdered - why does this
make Jesus any different?
Historical records dated from Roman times prove that Jesus existed. That cannot be
denied, and I'm goddamn sick of people saying he never existed in the first place. You
don't have to follow him, but can't you at least acknowledge his existence? Are you that
heartless? Are you that afraid of him? I think some people claim there never was a Jesus
of Nazareth because they’re scared that he really did exist. And God forbid if Jesus
walked this earth, for that would mean, perhaps, that a higher power exists. It would be
conforming to society to consider this. It would mean believing that there are greater
things than men, things that can control them, things that we cannot see or prove with our
own senses. It is a fear that is blind and naive. It frightens them to think that a man
willingly died to save their souls.
It frightens me too, but it was not his death that made my heart ache. Why he chose to die
makes my conscience wail and my heart ache.
He died for the sins of man. He died for me. God, why would anyone care enough to do
such a thing? To suffer so much just for me, a selfish, ungrateful human being? I am not
worthy of such a sacrifice, Jesus. But I cannot thank you enough, for I know I will never
be alone. I feel dead inside sometimes, locked inside my head. I wanted to break down
and scream all of my regrets and fears in front of you, tell you what I really feel. I even
grew angry at you for taking away my father and my peace of mind. Yet you knew all of
this when you carried that cross on your back, when the soldiers beat you and your skin
grew red with your own blood. You forgave me, and you died so that God may forgive
me as well. I just have trouble accepting this sometimes, for my will gets in the way of
God’s.
Jesus, I wonder if you knew all of the bloodshed that would occur because of you. All of
the wars that so called Christians started. All of the hatred between religions. All the
manipulating, lecherous behavior, and murders that were carried out in your name.
Innocent blood has been running in the streets for too long. Why did you let them do this,
Jesus? Why did you die for the people who cheat, lie, and kill?
Teach me to be humble, Jesus. Teach me to forgive those who may not deserve
forgiveness in the eyes of men. Grant me the courage to fight this injustice. Help me to
guide others so that they may see you, or respect you at the very least. Destroy the pride
that so often keeps me from doing your will. Help this troubled world find peace, for it is
painfully obvious that men alone cannot do it.
Forgive
me, for I know that I would have been one of the people who condemned
you. I would have been Pilate, pretending that your death is not at all
my fault. I am ashamed, Jesus, and sometimes this shame is hard to bear.
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